Christmas Wishes

Starting off with the positive; we had an amazing trip to Aruba. It was the perfect trip and I felt better than I have in a really long time. We were able to make some amazing memories and are hopeful that we will make it back to island very soon.

Upon our return from the trip, I reported to Brigham and Women’s on December 4th for my liver biopsy. I was prepped and ready to be wheeled into the procedure room when my medical team called to let me know that my liver enzymes were too high to have the procedure done that day and that I needed to go home. My oncologist called me later in the day to discuss and we reviewed that the cancerous spots in my spine are larger than they were before, there are new cancerous spots on my ribs and as we knew there was a new spot on my liver. Basically, my “slow growing” cancer became more aggressive in the past few months. We decided to try to give my liver a few more days in hopes that the enzymes would normalize. I went back in on Monday and they were still to high. I then went back in again on Wednesday and my enzymes- while still higher than normal, were within the parameters needed for the biopsy and the trial.

I was to have what should have been a routine liver biopsy- normally a 45 minute procedure. Due to different complications during the procedure, I was on the procedure table for 2 1/2 hours. The sedation and anesthetic provided to me during the procedure did not work resulting in me being aware of and feeling everything during the procedure. Very painful and traumatic. Also, proving me right as I had told the Dr in the beginning that if there are “possible” complications they usually happen to me.

I started the new treatment Wednesday evening. The new treatment includes shot every other week and six pills a day. This treatment so far has brought on some very intense and unpleasant side effects. I am hoping that I can get a handle on these side effects as I am not really sure how much more I can take of all of this.

This bringing me to my wishes for this Christmas:

I wish that 2020 brings me better health than this past year did.

I wish that this treatment works so that this will not be my last Christmas.

I wish that I did not have to worry or think about every holiday or vacation being my last.

I wish that my husband and kids did not have to deal with this.

I wish that I was strong enough to show people how I really am feeling rather than always putting on a brave face and pretending I am ok.

I wish that everyone who has showed us an overwhelming amount of support, knows how very thankful we are.

I wish all my fellow cancer fighters finds some sort of peace this holiday season.

I wish for more treatments and medications so that the list of options for me and others like me continues to grow.

I wish everyone a very Merry Christmas. Hoping everyone is filled with love and peace this holiday season. I wish Happiness and Health to all in the New Year.

XO