Many people do not know this but last September my oncologist told me that I most likely had less than a year to live. None of the medicines had worked on me for the past two years and we were quickly running out of options. I continued to fight and moved on to three more treatments. In April I was lucky enough to get in to a phase one trial with DFCI. This was so good to me. I felt like my old self. I haven’t felt like myself in more than five years. We made so many memories since I started this trial and I am forever thankful that I was able to do that with my family. I thought this medicine was my miracle. I felt great and it was containing my cancer and at this moment nothing in my bones, lungs, or liver was growing. It wasn’t shrinking either but not growing at this stage is huge. Last week after seeing my scans looking good, I was so excited that one year later- when I wasn’t supposed to be here any longer- I felt amazing and the med was doing something. Maybe just maybe this would be my miracle. I went into DFCI for a review and it was all good.

But I had some info that I have been keeping quiet all summer. I have been feeling a little dizzy at times and had some flashing at times outside of my left eye. I thought maybe the 5 concerts I attended did it or maybe the fact that I was doing more this summer than I have done in years was wearing me down. I wasn’t going to mention it to my nurses but my heart told me that I should. After mentioning it I was sent down for a brain CT and shortly after I returned to my chemo room, the results were in showing two large tumors in my brain. WTF! How quickly your life can change. Immediately they wanted me to have a brain MRI so we returned the next day and this MRI showed that I have a total of 5 tumors on my brain. It is devastating when the cancer crosses the brain/blood barrier as I am told and this definitely means that my battle is a lot tougher going forward and is starting to near the end.

We found out today that I am no longer able to be on the trial. I will be going into Brigham and Woman’s on 8/29 (next Tuesday) to have brain surgery where the largest of my tumors will be removed. Short stay in the hospital apparently and then home to recover which they say should only take a few weeks. Once ready, I will then have radiation to the other 4 spots. We do have another treatment in the lineup and the plan is to start a new medicine Enhurtu once I am ok’d to start.

I was told again that I most likely do not have a very long time left on this journey but who knows. I am a fighter and Quinn, Colin and Trevor make the fight worth while everyday. It is my goal in life to be here with them as long as I can be. I thank god for all of the memories that we made this past summer. I know that God gave us the ability to make all of the memories that we did. I am terrified right now. I am sad that this is my life. I am thankful for all of the people who have reached out and stepped up to help us. I thank god that my kids will have so many people around them when I am not here any longer.

I try to keep a happy face on all of the time and approach this cancer nonsense with the best attitude. This life sucks though. Please keep us in your prayers and hope that this brain surgery goes well.