Often times people refer to the scars on their bodies as their “battle wounds”. I have a small scar on the back of my ankle from falling off of my bike as a teenager. This scar I laugh about because it is the reminder of my first attempt to run away as a kid. I fell off of my bike two houses down from mine and had to turn around! HAHA. I have a lovely C-Section scar that I am proud of because my two beautiful kids came from there! Now I have a two inch scar on my chest. A result of my recent lumpectomy. This scar, while I know it is small, bothers me. I hate to look at it, feel it. This is my first true “battle wound” from this fight with cancer. It is my first visual reminder of this really shitty battle.
I had my lumpectomy on May 22nd. I found it to be an easy procedure and recovery. Aside from some soreness at the incision site, I felt fine. I received a call a couple of days later letting me know that the tissue surrounding my tumor tested positive for cancer cells as well. It was suggested that we go back in and take out more tissue in an effort to achieve clean margins. I had several more appointments and it was decided, as my oncologist says “let’s finish what we started”. So that is what we are going to do! In a few days I will go back in and have more tissue removed and hope that this will get us the clear margins we are hoping for!! Again, we hope that this surgery and recovery are just as easy.
The past few weeks and this whole ordeal has been…..annoying to me. I say annoying b/c there really isn’t a better way to describe it. I have had a bunch of appointments, all in Boston, lately and so much talk surrounding this whole thing. For the past two years I have felt like I was living my life with Cancer as a small part of it. For the past couple of months, for the first time, I feel like I have CANCER in the forefront and just a little bit of my normal life. Throw in all of the end of the school year business, our efforts to keep home life as normal as possible, and work and I have found all of this, this Cancer to be disruptive and I am annoyed this crappy disease gets to disrupt my life.
I am really looking forward to putting this all behind me and moving forward with a really great summer.
As always, thank you all for the continued support. All of the flowers, edible arrangements, text messages and phone calls mean the world to me!