No not ME! Cancer. Cancer is the worst B**ch there is. It sucker punches you when you least expect it.
A couple of months ago I started having a strange pain in the side of my chest, near the original site of discomfort where I was originally diagnosed. I brought it up with my doctor at my appointment in March and she ordered scans for my next appointment.
I reported for these scans yesterday morning. Bright and early with my first appointment being at 6:50. I had my normal CT, Bone Scan etc. and then waited for my doctor to deliver the news. You sit waiting for the results knowing there is nothing that you can do. It is what it is, I guess. I find myself saying a lot lately- “you can do nothing about the situation just how you react”. Well when the doctor walks in the room to deliver your results, You can instantly tell which way this news is going to go.
Well my cancer journey has hit its first road bump. While my bones remain stable the original tumor in my breast has started to grow. This sneaky cell in my body has now started to outsmart the medicine I am on in an effort to grow.
Since I am doing so well on this line of treatment and this is considered a small road bump in the world of cancer- I am going to have this sneaky cell cut out! I will have a lumpectomy in a few weeks. We are hoping that by cutting this tumor out of my body, the medicine will continue to keep me stable and buy me more time on my first line of treatment.
This whole thing is an unbelievable roller coaster. For the past two years I have come to grips that my own body is trying to kill me and I have to fight that everyday. I have adjusted my life to let this new disease takes its place. Now two years later THIS. It is a sucker punch in the stomach. A wake up call. I had gotten a little complacent with my disease. Not watching what I am eating as much, not taking care of myself like I should have. Well I am awake again and realize that I am not invincible.
People always tell me “you are so strong”. News FLASH- I don’t have a choice. I am not strong. I don’t want to be strong. I don’t want to deal with this. This will never get easier and it sucks. No matter how routine it all gets it NEVER gets easier.